we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
