Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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