So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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