woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
