the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
