I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
my liver is dry heaving
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