I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
