is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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