It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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