yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
