you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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