Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
