I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
