so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
