What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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