He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
