So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All the doctor said was why
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