Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
