he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
