Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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