Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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