Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
