sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There r osticjed everywhere
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
