I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
