I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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