I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I didn't notice because vodka
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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