you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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