I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
