glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
