Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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