hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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