Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
