i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Randomize
