Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
