I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he fucked my hip out of place.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
