When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
