Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
