did you get engaged???
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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