So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
