Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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