Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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