Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
