I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
