Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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