Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
