i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
