She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
