Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
