How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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