I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
