Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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