All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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