just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just tell him i said nine months
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
