Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
