when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
