oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
