I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
